


Take it all

by SilentRain91



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Heartbreak, Lena Luthor Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-08-28 18:54:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16728942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilentRain91/pseuds/SilentRain91
Summary: Lena is struggling with the aftermath of a broken heart when a familiar face pays her a visit, only to find out Supergirl may not be who Lena thinks she is.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It took me longer than planned to finish this due to work, but here it is. :)

Lena wasn’t one to dwell, but this week had been so particularly rough not even a glass of wine could bring solace on a Friday night. Her eyes were red and puffy, and she had long traded her blouse and skirt for a pair of black leggings and an old faded oversized dark-gray sweater she found in the back of her closet.

Strands of Lena’s hair escaped her ponytail to the point where she tugged it free, letting her raven locks cascade down her shoulders. She had no doubt she looked horrible, but she had too much on her mind to care about appearing presentable right now, and in the bitter comfort of her loft where she was all alone, Lena was allowed to slack off.

Eve had offered to grab a round or two of drinks at some local pub, but Lena couldn’t cope with unwanted flirting from men with cheap cologne and a yellow-ish smile, and hateful glances tonight. For once Lena wanted to pick flight over fight because look where choosing to fight got her? It resulted in a broken heart, that was where.

It didn’t come as much of a surprise when James broke off their relationship, not after his reaction to Lena gathering the courage to say _‘I love you’_ out loud for the first time. But that didn’t make it hurt any less. The memory of expressing her feelings despite her fear of rejection weighed heavily, and it left a bitter taste in her mouth she didn’t seem to be able to get rid of.

The words had spilled out of Lena’s chest in earnest, and she managed to voice them without choking up, though, in the end, she wished she hadn’t turned herself into such a pathetic, desperate fool, speaking of love to a man who not once opened his heart to listen. Lena laughed, honestly laughed at the ludicrously of how she should have known all her relationships, be it friendship or otherwise, were doomed from the start.

“All I loved, I loved alone,” Lena whispered as another tear made it past her cheek. Her skin felt raw, damaged, wrecked by emotions she couldn’t for the life of her figure out how to process.

Kara was the first person Lena turned to, the only person she felt she could trust after Jack died and Sam moved away.

Lena took a large gulp from her wine while Kara’s _“I, ah, I don’t want to choose sides, so I’ve decided it’s best if I stay out of this,”_ rang in her ears on a loop.

Lena would never, not in a million years, put Kara in a position where she would force her to choose. It wasn’t Lena’s place to decide who Kara could and couldn’t spend time with, and Lena knew James meant a great deal to Kara.

When Lena suggested dinner and a movie, she hadn’t intended to pressure Kara or to give her the impression she ought to terminate her friendship with James. Lena wasn’t entirely sure where she went wrong, though she had to be somewhere to wind up being rejected twice in such a short period of time.

Being crudely dumped followed by having her best friend turn her back on her was Lena’s breaking point. The shoulder she thought she could cry and lean on in times like this wasn’t there, and again Lena felt the familiar pain of abandonment.

Lena wasn’t perfect. She would never claim to be because she had flaws, as did all humans. But Lena didn’t want to be perfect, even if to the outer world, it looked like she strived to be. No, all Lena wanted to be was enough. For once in her life, she didn’t want to feel so darn unlovable.

Lena’s fingers tightened around her glass. It didn’t suffice to anchor her as a sob tore itself free from the back of her throat. Everything hurt. Lena’s entire body ached, inside and out. Pain stung in places she couldn’t reach, couldn’t ease.

In the background, the television was on; though the volume was so low she couldn’t make out a single word of what was being said. The news showed live footage of Supergirl aiding to put out a forest fire.

Earlier, Lena thought of calling out to Supergirl from her balcony, in a frail moment of weakness, but she figured Kara had better things to do. Lena knew Kara was Supergirl, she always had, since day one, but Kara appeared to be at ease with the idea Lena thought Kara and Supergirl were two different people, so Lena never said anything. It gave her an out to talk to Kara, but Lena didn’t want to use that loophole, not after Kara made it clear she didn’t want to get involved.

Lena downed the remains of her glass. Her left hand trembled, reaching for the bottle on the coffee table in front of her, ready to pour another. She established with a sigh she forgot to put a cup holder on the table, which had resulted in a wet ring where she placed her wine.

A swift swooshing sound followed by a chilling brush of wind caught Lena’s attention. She set her glass and the bottle down, somewhat wobbly on her feet as she rose to face the uninvited guest, and there was only one person who would use her balcony as an entrance.

“Supergirl,” Lena drawled, dragging her feet across the floor.

For a fair two seconds, Lena felt dizzy, though she wasn’t drunk. All she had to drink was one glass. Then there was also the fact she skipped dinner because her appetite simply wouldn’t come, and she had little to no energy to trouble herself with arranging food she wasn’t going to touch anyway.

Lena squint her eyes. Blonde hair, no glasses… Everything checked out, except, something was different about Kara/Supergirl. From the looks of her, Lena wasn’t the only one who changed clothes.

Supergirl’s usual red and blue suit had made place for a blue-greyish suit with pants instead of a skirt.

“How can you be here? I just saw you on the new-”Lena whispered, slumping due to lightheadedness. Strong arms caught and steadied her. “You…You’re not Supergirl,” she concluded, studying the face of what had to be Kara’s doppelganger.

Fire blazed in Supergirl 2.0’s irises, intense and passionate; dangerous. “Njet _(no)_ ,” she responded, jaw tense, eyes narrowed.

“Okay,” Lena winced when she took a step back too fast, causing her head to pound. Something about Supergirl 2.0’s posture reminded Lena of Reign, though if they were similar, a hand would have been choking her by now.

“Russian,” Lena mumbled, racking her brain. “You speak Russian?” she questioned, humming faintly when Supergirl 2.0 gave her a curt nod.

“I don’t,” Lena admitted. “But I can understand the basics,” or at least she thought she did. “Do you understand me?”

“Da _(yes)_.”

Lena shivered at how Supergirl 2.0’s voice was identical to Kara’s yet she made it come out stronger, with an extra punch of power, and with a vastly different accent. Lena had no idea whether this Supergirl was a friend or foe, but she didn’t feel fear.

Supergirl 2.0 was an unmoving statue. Her ocean blue eyes cleared and rested steadily on Lena’s face. This Supergirl didn’t place her hands on her hips, instead, clenched fists rested at her sides, ready to pounce.

Lena’s mind raced with questions. Her inner scientist was curious to study Supergirl 2.0 and figure out her origins, though a voice in the back of Lena’s head told her Kara might have split herself around the time Lena freed Sam from Reign.

Out of all the questions, one was prominent. “Why are you here?”

Supergirl 2.0 stretched out her hand. She ran her thumb over Lena’s cheek, wiping at a fresh tear. Supergirl 2.0 tilted her head slightly to the side, gaze softening. “Kto tebya obidel? _(Who hurt you?)_ ” She demanded, but Lena didn’t understand her.

“YA razorvu ikh kishechnik i nakormlyu yego sobakam _(I will rip out their intestines and feed it to dogs)_. Oni budut stradat', poka vy stradayete _(They will suffer as you suffer now)_.”

Lena lost her balance, and when those strong arms caught her once more, a dam inside of her broke, and she couldn’t stop the tears from coming. Her nose was stuffed, and in between gulps of air and choked tears, she told Supergirl 2.0 what happened with James.

Meanwhile, Supergirl 2.0 held Lena ever so gently and caressed her back.

Lena’s ear was pressed up against Supergirl 2.0’s chest. Beneath it, Supergirl 2.0’s heart beat strongly, securing Lena, making her feel safe.

“When I told James I loved him, I thought he would understand the depth of my feelings,” Lena whimpered, accepting the tissue Supergirl 2.0 provided from who knew where. “Perhaps I went too far, got too involved trying to fix his problems,” Lena reasoned, not that it changed what went down. “Love is mostly foreign to me, and it’s hard to tell how far I’m allowed to swim when I’m prepared to cross the ocean and more, to go that extra mile to show I care. I thought I could learn to be better, to be enough, to stop pushing people away, but my efforts were in vain.”

“James glup _(James is stupid)_. Ne plavay za nego, utopi yego _(Don’t swim for him, drown him.)_

Lena tried to make sense of what Russian Kara said, sighing softly when she couldn’t, though the tone in Supergirl 2.0’s voice and how she spoke through gritted teeth gave Lena the feeling of hostility.

Lena took a ragged breath, grimacing when her heart constricted. In the midst of placing a hand over her chest, wishing she could soothe the pain she couldn’t reach, Supergirl 2.0 swept Lena up and carried her toward the couch.

Lena’s eyes grew wet while Russian Kara fetched a blanket and a glass of water. “I don’t think anyone’s ever seen me cry this much,” Lena chuckled bitterly, mildly ashamed for not rising above it like she was taught while at the same time knowing full well she held back the urge to let even more tears spill.

“Deep down I wonder if James used me,” Lena pondered, which gave her heart another invisible stab. “If it was all a ploy of him so he could have arm candy to show off. Did you know he ignored a direct order from me as his boss?” she scoffed, laughing at how blind she was. “He called me his co-pilot, and more often than not, he’d act as if my company were his. When I first bought CatCo, he was the only one who didn’t welcome me. He treated me as a rival, viewed me as a threat, until we became closer, and dated.”

Lena sipped from the water, per Russian Kara’s insistence as she kept nodding at the glass.

“But I know it’s my fault things ended,” Lena concluded with a heavy heart. “I went too far, let my guard down too fast, and now it feels as if I lost not one but two people who meant the world to me.”

Lena had to stop sharing when each word was followed up by a sob. She wrapped herself up in her blanket, peering over the back of her couch to see what Supergirl 2.0 was doing.

Russian Kara threw punch after punch, missing Lena’s wall by a hair. She appreciated Kara’s doppelganger refrained from wrecking her place. Supergirl 2.0 glanced at Lena just for a second, stepping into the kitchen the next while muttering and grumbling in Russian.

Lena’s cheeks flushed upon catching a glimpse of Russian Kara’s ass in those pants, and for a moment, Lena honestly had no idea why she ever bothered with men when women were right there, looking like _that_. Lena shook her head to get a grip because no, no she couldn’t think those things, not of someone who looked exactly like Kara, on whom she had a major crush in the past.

Lena couldn’t be turned on, not tonight. It was inappropriate and wrong. She knew if she were to make a move on Russian Kara, it would be due to her despair for affection, and the guilt would come later. Moving on, while necessary, took time.

Perhaps Lena was crazy, but she still loved James. Those feelings didn’t disappear with a snap of her fingers. Even with knowing the outcome, Lena knew if she could go back, she wouldn’t change a thing. She meant it when she told James she would do it all again in a heartbeat.

Lena had to turn off her television when the topic switched to James. She couldn’t bear seeing him or hearing him, not tonight. Drops of water dribbled down Lena’s chin, considering her hands shook while she remembered how she made a phone call earlier today, to arrange a transfer.

As of next week, James would no longer work for Catco. Quite frankly, his recent charade was ruining the image of Lena’s company, and she didn’t want any arguments on the work floor. Lena wasn’t going to run, so she had to make him leave.

“Etot vzroslyy rebenok dumayet, chto on geroy, no on nol' _(That grown child thinks he is a hero, but he is a zero)_. U nego yest' kakoy-to nerv, zastavlyayushchiy moyu Lena krichat' _(He has some nerve, making my Lena cry)_. Kak on smeyet razorvat' svoye serdtse? _(How dare he break her heart?)_ Russian Kara hissed, putting food on the fire. “Eto zhalkoye opravdaniye muzhchiny ne zasluzhivayet yeye, on nikogda etogo ne delal ( _That miserable excuse of a man doesn’t deserve her, he never did).”_

Supergirl 2.0 scrunched up her nose when she located the kale in Lena’s refrigerator. “Eto ne yeda _(This is not food)_ ,” Russian Kara said, holding it as far away from her face as possible to the point where it made Lena chuckle.

“Supergirl doesn’t appreciate kale either,” Lena sighed softly. “She’ll melt in your fingertips if you bring her pizza and potstickers.”

“Pitstsa,” Russian Kara hummed, licking her lips.

Lena averted her eyes, staring absentmindedly into her glass. “I wish she didn’t distance herself from me,” she whispered ever so silently, but with a Kryptonian around, it was impossible not to be heard.

“Kak Supergirl' ostavila yeye zdes' zdes', sama zaplakala? _(How could Supergirl leave her here all by herself, weeping like this?)”_ Supergirl 2.0 sneered. “YA priyekhal syuda iz Rossii, chtoby dat' yey tkan' _(I came here from Russia to give her a tissue)._ ”

Behind Lena’s back, Russian Kara snuck out of the window, turned James’ motorcycle into a piece of scrap, sprinkled kale all over Kara’s kitchen, and inhaled a pizza before coming back with food.

It was oddly quiet, so much so, Lena slowly whipped her head around to check what Russian Kara was up to now. To her surprise, Supergirl 2.0 held a tray in her hands with toast and eggs on it, which Lena didn’t recall having around in her kitchen.

“Yest’ _(Eat)_ ,” Russian Kara said, setting the tray down on the coffee table. It was the closest thing Lena ever had to getting breakfast in bed.

Lena rubbed her temples. “Not that I don’t appreciate you bringing me breakfast to the couch at night,” she began carefully, “but I’m not sure if I can eat. Thank you, though.”

“Okay, a few bites,” Lena relented at Supergirl 2.0’s pout, and god, that had to be her kryptonite. “You never told me why you’re here,” Lena realized, confused as to why Kara’s doppelganger fixed her food as if it was the most normal, ordinary thing to do.

“I know you can understand me,” Lena stated. “So please, tell me why. Why are you here, Supergirl 2.0?”

Supergirl 2.0 wriggled her nose. “Supergirl 2.0?” she repeated, lips curling upwards.

“Well, I have to call you something. I’ll admit it’s not ideal, but it’s the best I got for now.”

Russian Supergirl opened her mouth a little, closing it as the hint of a smile played at her lips. In a flash, she was gone. Lena’s heart dropped and her pulse quickened, but she worried too soon when not even two seconds later, Supergirl 2.0 returned.

Supergirl 2.0 held out a phone book, skimming through the pages in a fluid motion. “Choose,” she uttered in broken English like she was still learning to master it despite appearing to understand Lena just fine.

Russian Supergirl inclined her head toward the book. “Choose,” she repeated, bringing the book closer to Lena’s hands.

“You want me to randomly choose a name for you?” Lena questioned with a furrowed brow. “Any name? So if my finger lands on say, Cinderella, that’s it? You’d be Cinderella?”

Lena chewed her bottom lip, hating the thought of picking a name Supergirl 2.0 would loathe. “How about I call you Russian Supergirl for now?” Lena suggested, although ideally, Supergirl 2.0 should choose, considering names were personal, and a part of someone’s identity.

“No,” Supergirl 2.0 answered, resuming skipping pages. “I am not a girl,” she huffed, again with that Russian accent that gave Lena heart palpitations.

“What do the people where you live call you?”

“Vernut'sya k rabote.”

Lena needed to hear Russian Kara say that at least two more times. Once to help Lena repeat those exact words and a second time to enjoy that accent again. “What does that mean?” Lena asked, never having heard anything like that before.

“Back to work.”

Lena laughed. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be rude,” she hastened to say. “You have to have a name, though?”

“No name,” Russian Kara replied, tapping the book with her index finger. “You choose.”

Lena noted how Russian Kara didn’t ramble the way Kara did, unless she was angry, whereas Kara talked a lot when she got excited about something. The contrast between them intrigued Lena further.

Lena eyed the book. “What happens after I choose a name and eat the food you made?” she inquired, looking up at Russian Kara, swallowing down a gasp when the fire in those blue eyes returned.

Supergirl 2.0 brushed Lena’s hair behind her ear in slow motion and stepped forward, pressing a lingering kiss to Lena’s forehead. “I go,” Russian Kara whispered, gesturing at the balcony.

Lena pushed the book aside with a smile that was both genuine and painful as the foresight of being alone again loomed over her, waiting to swallow her whole. “You never told me why you’re here, not with words at least, though even then, I can only assume.”

“For you,” Russian Kara explained, circling her arms around Lena’s waist, hugging her just tight enough.

Lena struggled to believe Supergirl 2.0 had no ulterior motives for visiting, but Kara never had any of those either for their friendship, so Lena decided to trust her gut, and accept the fact Russian Kara was here for her with no hidden agenda of any kind.

“A name,” Lena said when Supergirl 2.0 let go far too soon. “Are you sure you have no preference at all for a name?” Lena hesitated one last time as she reached for the book.

Russian Kara followed Lena with her eyes. For someone who spoke so little, Supergirl 2.0 gave Lena the feeling there was so much she wanted to say.

Kara’s doppelganger stared at the floor. Little by little, she lifted her head. Her eyelashes fluttered, and she unclenched her fists. “Vash _(Yours)_ ,” she spoke in a shaky whisper.

“I don’t understand,” Lena replied, filled with helplessness, letting out a deep breath. “Could you repeat that a little louder?”

“Choose, Lena Luthor.”

Lena shuddered at how Russian Kara’s accent sounded thicker than before, and God did Lena wish she was fluent in Russian. She bit her tongue to keep from telling Supergirl 2.0 to say her name again.

“Mira,” Lena said without looking in the book, “short for mirage because you being here feels surreal as if my mind is tricking itself and this is nothing but a dream within a dream.”

Mira placed her thumb and index finger on Lena’s chin, bringing their faces closer together. Puffs of warm air touched Lena’s lips, tempting her to stand on her toes and kiss those forbidden lips. Lena saw specks of gold in Mira’s eyes and just a hint of red flames.

“Dobroy nochi, Lena _(Good night, Lena)_ ,” Mira whispered, running her hand through Lena’s hair.

Lena caught Mira’s wrist before she could leave. Mira stood with her back facing Lena, and her head bowed down.

It was silent for a while, so quiet even Lena might be able to hear a needle drop.

But then, like a wave rippling over the water, and crashing onto the shore; Mira spun around and placed her hands on Lena’s sides, lifting her up with ease.

Lena was breathless as Mira lowered her until their foreheads rested together. Their bodies touched, and Lena’s arms fitted perfectly around Mira’s neck as she found her footing.

Lena’s heart leapt when Mira’s lips brushed her cheek, inching closer toward her mouth. Lena closed her eyes, wanting so badly to give in to the overwhelming desire to kiss Kara’s doppelganger, but Lena had to open them when nothing happened.

Mira was on the balcony, hands gripping the railing.

Lena reached out her right hand, catching it mid-way with her left because she had to let go. “Will I see you again?” It was more of a desperate plea than a question.

“This is not goodbye.”

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This started off as a one-shot, but people wanted more, so I finally got around adding this second chapter.

The city stretched out beneath Mira, lit up by street lights and various decorations on the side of buildings. She couldn’t stay out here too long. Running into Kara Danvers wasn’t how Mira wished to end this night, though back in Russia it was morning.

Mira let out a deep exhale, shoulders sagging while her legs dangled over the edge of the tallest apartment block in all of National City. She needed a minute to refocus. Seeing such youthful eyes weary with melancholy had made Mira’s eyes prick with tears. She never cried, never cared until she took the plunge to meet Lena.

Mira had to leave, had to go so she wouldn’t fall apart in front of Lena. Enough destruction was done by others. The last thing Lena needed was to pick up Mira’s pieces along with her own. Mira couldn’t possibly place such a burden onto Lena.

Mira wanted so badly to absorb all of Lena’s pain and sadness, but Mira didn’t have that kind of power. All she could do was try to minimize the damage by letting Lena know she would always have someone who had her back.

The night was silent if one ignored the traffic. Mira was able to see all the way into Kara’s apartment. Mira knew all about Kara Danvers; the reporter who worked for the DEO as Supergirl. Humans and their tacky habit of labeling, of branding; Mira didn’t find Supergirl appealing in the slightest as a superhero name for a young woman bound to outlive the current human generation by a century or three.

Supergirl was weak whereas Reign was a force to be reckoned with, although if Reign wasn’t gone already, Mira would have ended her because Reign put her hands on Lena, and Mira could never ally herself with anyone who meant to cause Lena Luthor harm.

When Mira first wandered into Russia, barefoot with nothing but a blanket she stole somewhere, she felt lost and disorientated, knowing all but three things about her life like the back of her hand. As days blended into nights, and weekdays into weekends, Mira knew she had a mate.

Every detail from the slight color difference between Lena’s left and right eye, down to how she liked her coffee, was incredibly vivid to Mira. She knew how Lena could make people falter with the rise of a single brow, so much so, Mira could paint an exact replica.

The second thing Mira knew to be a fact was how she had a sister she didn’t share blood with. Mira knew she could never lay down a hand on Alex, only her life. Alex often rubbed Mira the wrong way during their younger years. They were always bickering, always at odds.

Sometimes, Mira’s head spun from the sheer amount of less than pleasant memories in regards to Alex. Mira once put her fist through a wall, fearing she would be capable of doing the same to Alex’s apartment if she ever dared venture there.

But Alex would know Mira wasn’t Kara Danvers. Mira didn’t have Supergirl’s suit or Kara Danvers’ pastel cardigans. Yikes, Mira’s copy needed a makeover, as soon as possible. Aside from poor fashion choices, Mira’s voice would give away she wasn’t Kara.

Not everything Mira remembered was bad, not by a long shot, but the internal struggle remained. She wanted to protect Alex as much as she wanted to punch her in the face, though something about the way Mira was wired ensured her love for Alex as a sister and Lena as a mate was unconditional.

The third thing Mira remembered was being stuck in space, barely able to breathe. It felt as if the walls were closing in on her, and nothing she tried could stop it from happening. Even to this day, tight spaces were difficult to cope with.

Tears made their way down Mira’s cheeks. She wanted to beat James into the pavement, shove his shield up his ass, and kick him into the sun, but she had to lay low. Mira was supposed to stay hidden in Russia until the time was right, which became impossible when she picked up on Lena’s distress.

Lena, ever the genius, finding out within seconds Mira wasn’t Supergirl, while in such a hazy state, no less. Mira admired her destined partner endlessly. Kara was a fool for having ignored Lena’s courting attempts. The office full of flowers should have been a clear sign, but no, Kara was utterly oblivious, and as a result, Lena somehow wound up with James, who hurt Lena.

Mira gained all of her memories back during the time she spent in Russia. It took months for her to piece it all together as if she suffered from some type of amnesia. When she remembered, thinking about Lena was what kept her rage from reaching the point where Mira would burn down the world.

Mira could never destroy Lena’s home, though she much doubted earth was it.

Mira stretched her arms out wide and let herself fall, closing her eyes as she did so. About midway to the ground, she opened her eyes and flew back to Russia with the knowledge Lena wished to see her again.

As the weekend came to pass and National City greeted the night on Monday, Mira landed on Lena’s balcony, covered in debris.

The glass door was open. Lena sat on her couch, sipping tea from a large cup she held with both of her hands. On the coffee table rested another cup of tea, still steaming.

“I was hoping you’d come,” Lena said, and while she smiled, Mira saw the crack in Lena’s mask; the exhaustion and the pain no layer of makeup could hide.

“I set some tea,” Lena sighed, gesturing at the cup on the table. “It’s chamomile.”

Mira whisked the cup of tea out of Lena’s hands, resulting in a puzzled look. As if embracing glass, Mira wrapped her arms around Lena, holding her.

Lena buried her face in the crook of Mira’s neck, apparently not minding or noticing the debris.

Mira caressed Lena’s back until Lena’s tears stopped falling and Lena’s heart slowed down. “Lena,” Mira whispered, cupping Lena’s face, thumbs stroking her cheeks.

“Sit and have a drink with me?” Lena requested. “Please.”

Mira handed Lena her cup of tea back, reaching for the other for herself. It would have long shattered if it wasn’t for Mira not wanting to ruin Lena’s fine China. Mira could take it out on a wall later.

“James asked me if we could try again,” Lena shared with a bitter chuckle. “He entered my office as if nothing happened. I handed him a plane ticket and told him he should catch that plane. I’m not entirely sure what he said afterward. His lips moved, but I no longer cared about his meaningless arguments, so I zoned out.”

Mira’s eyes rested steadily on Lena, ears trained to listen to what she had to say. Lena wasn’t just one of the few things that mattered to Mira in this world; Lena _was_ Mira’s world, universe even.

Lena took another sip from her tea. “I shouldn’t be talking about this,” she mumbled, tapping her nails against her cup. “Sorry,” she uttered, fingers stilling. “You don’t want to hear this. James is gone now, that’s what matters. I can close this chapter of my life.”

“You talk, I listen,” Mira insisted, touching Lena’s hand for a second.

“What do you want to hear?”

“Everything,” Mira answered without missing a beat.

Lena smiled minutely. “Everything is a lot. It’ll take a lot of time.”

Mira focused on what she wanted to say to ensure she didn’t slip into Russian, which would make Lena unable to understand her. “I have all the time,” Mira replied, strong and certain. “For you,” she added, much quieter, perhaps too silent for Lena to hear.

“I saw Kara today,” Lena sighed, and just like that, the crack in her voice sounded as if an immeasurable amount of weight pressed down on her chest, shattering her ribcage. “She wasn’t pleased I sent James away, to put it delicately,” she said with trembling fingers. “I told her I thought she didn’t want to get involved, it certainly appeared that way when she told me, loud and clear, three days ago. She doesn’t appreciate me sending her friend away, said I shouldn’t own Catco if I can’t separate my private life from work matters.”

Lena took a deep breath in. “I had to transfer James for the sake of the company, though I admit I would have pardoned him if our relationship hadn’t ended. I was blind to his flaws, which I am no longer. This was strictly business. I was wrong to mix my personal life with business before, giving James so much leeway despite his mistakes.”

Mira wanted to throw Kara through a wall, and then some. It was a good thing Mira made sure Supergirl had a busy night tonight, in a not too violent or life-threatening way, if Mira counted out the explosives she attached to the Mount Everest, along with a stuffed animal that looked like a real puppy from afar. She would never endanger a dog, no, those were far too precious.

“I… I lost someone,” Lena voiced through a harsh swallow. “He was a patient, my patient, for an experiment I’m conducting in order to cure cancer. I hesitated and wanted to stop the trial, but then I didn’t, and he died. I lost people before. It doesn’t get easier. Maybe I should quit.”

“No, never give up,” Mira responded, gently grasping Lena’s chin with her thumb and middle finger. “You are a l’vitsa,” Mira said, speaking slowly so every word could sink in as their eyes locked. “Lioness,” she translated. “You roar.”

Mira would hate seeing Lena’s dreams crushed due to unfortunate circumstances. Personally, Mira didn’t care about one measly life, but Lena did, and what mattered to Lena mattered to Mira. “One dies, maybe ten more. You continue… hundreds, thousands, live.”

“You’re right,” Lena whispered. “I know my research can save many lives, I merely wish it didn’t take any in the process.”

Mira knew Lena had a big heart, and it was sad seeing Lena get hurt so easily.

“His name was Adam,” Lena continued through a harsh swallow. “I need to say it because he wasn’t some number, some casualty. He was a human being, and he was kind to me. I confided in him, something I never told anyone, ever. I think, deep down, I knew he wouldn’t live to tell a soul, which made it easier to express the burden I have carried with me ever since I was four years old.”

Lena’s lip quivered. Her eyes rose to meet Mira’s. “I’ve done a terrible thing, Mira,” Lena expressed, almost spilling what was left of her tea due to how much her hand shook.

Mira had no idea what happened precisely in Lena’s past, but Mira doubted Lena did something terrible, especially when she was that young.

“I…I think I need to get some rest,” Lena said with a tight, tired smile.

Mira nodded. She got up to take her leave, but Lena’s hand wrapped around her wrist stopped Mira from doing so.

“Stay,” Lena requested, grip tightening. “Please, stay the night. I…”

Mira saw sorrow in those green eyes. She walked back to Lena, silently agreeing to stay. Mira spent the night wide awake, holding Lena in her arms.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“You’re pregnant.”

Lena stared out of the window. “Get rid of it.”

“Miss Luthor, I could walk you through your options before you make a decision. You can sleep on it if you’d like?”

“My decision is final,” Lena voiced, swallowing hard before she faced the doctor. “I want an abortion.”

The doctor gave Lena a tight-lipped smile. “Certainly, Miss Luthor,” she replied, reaching for the monitor to switch it off.

It was a decision Lena had made before setting foot in the hospital, when she feared her suspicions were accurate. Morning sickness wasn’t favorable right before a board meeting, and while eating was a challenge lately, the past week, give or take, Lena struggled to keep what little food she ate down.

A knock on the door disturbed the doctor, who went to see what was up.

Lena immediately sat up straighter when she heard a nurse tell the doctor she had a visitor. It was such a pity Lena was on the fifth floor, which made leaping out of the window rather lethal. Her heart was in her throat as the door opened further.

Lena shook her head because no, she couldn’t deal with the amount of dread at the possibility of seeing her ex right now right here, in this situation. She didn’t even tell anyone she was going to the hospital, not even Eve knew. All Lena said was how she had an errand to run. There was no way for anyone to know.

Lena closed her eyes. There were footsteps. The voices of the doctor and the nurse sounded further away until they were gone altogether, and then the door clicked shut. Lena’s lashes fluttered. A face she knew well swam into view, minus the glasses.

“Mira?” Lena breathed out, doing a double take on the business suit Mira had on.

But Mira’s eyes weren’t on Lena. Instead, those gentle blues were glued to Lena’s left.

Lena turned her head to the side. “Oh,” she whispered, seeing how the monitor was still on, showing nothing but an almost invisible little peanut. She didn’t even see it at first, not until the doctor pointed it out to her.

“Life is precious,” Mira said, and her English sounded better than last time, but her accent remained obvious. “Miracle,” she added in awe, looking away from the monitor to stare at Lena’s stomach.

Lena sighed. “Mira…My mind is made up,” she stated, hoping Mira didn’t come all the way here, to the hospital, to talk her out of getting an abortion.

“That, I know,” Mira sighed. “Why, I do not know.”

Lena rubbed her temples. It had been a long tiresome day, and Lena ached to get this over with, so everything could go back to her pretending everything was normal and okay. This pregnancy was an unexpected hiccup, a bump in the road; nothing more.

“I don’t want to see an innocent child raised in a broken family,” Lena began to explain, not that she was obligated to. “James would use our child as a crutch, the same way he used to use our relationship, though not quite. Relationships can end, but being a parent…it’s different. He wouldn’t want me to get an abortion.”

Lena knew for a fact James would fight her on this.

“I can’t discuss this with him, I know I can’t,” Lena continued. “It’s my body, and I don’t wish to carry out this pregnancy. There is something evil inside of me, and I’d be damned if I’d pass on my genes to an innocent soul.”

Mira’s eye twitched. The next thing, she rubbed her eye so fast Lena wasn’t sure if an eyelash got stuck or if Mira was trying not to cry. “You are not evil,” Mira uttered while she approached Lena.

Lena glanced at Mira’s hand. “You didn’t come here to talk me out of this?” Lena questioned one last time.

Mira shook her head. “Your choice.”

“My choice,” Lena agreed. “Will you hold my hand until the doctor comes back?” she requested, breathing a bit shallower when she heard footsteps outside, which was probably the doctor returning to prep the abortion she asked for.

Mira’s hand was warm as she took Lena’s in hers. Mira’s thumb stroked the back of Lena’s hand; meanwhile, she didn’t look away from Lena’s stomach.

Lena had expected some kind of speech, especially after Mira called life precious and said her being pregnant was a miracle. But Mira wasn’t Kara. Mira didn’t talk a mile a minute or rambled unless she grumbled angrily in Russian. There was no rage in Mira’s voice or in her body language.

All Lena could detect was understanding with a glimpse of sadness Mira tried to hide.

“Before I do this…,” Lena spoke up. She glanced at the door, hoping the doctor would give them one more minute before entering. “How many heartbeats do you hear in this room?”

Mira’s tongue clicked against the roof of her mouth. “Yours…,” she answered, staring without blinking even once. “And…” she paused, thumb stilling its caress. “Mine.”

Lena squeezed the sheets with her free hand. “Are you sure?” she inquired, eyes flitting over toward the door again. “Mira, please tell me,” Lena pleaded, needing to know.

Mira tilted her head to the side while her gaze intensified. “You want this child,” she claimed, jaw slightly ajar.

Lena promptly shook her head. “I’m here for an abortion,” she reminded Mira.

But Mira didn’t let up. “You want me to hear another heartbeat because, in your heart, you don’t want to lose this child,” she replied, looking Lena right in the eyes.

Lena’s throat bobbed. Perhaps that was true, maybe some part of her wanted to find a reason, just one, not to abort her unborn child. Subconsciously, she could have tried to find an excuse to overturn the decision she thought was set in stone. But Lena couldn’t do this alone, she really couldn’t. And the idea of bringing James back into the picture wasn’t right.

Adoption wasn’t a path Lena wanted to walk either. She could never risk her child ending up with a family like the one she grew up with. Even a seemingly picture-perfect family could wind up being terrible, and Lena couldn’t stand her offspring being miserable as much as one day of their life.

“I don’t hear another heartbeat,” Mira cut through the silence, washing the excuse away. “I hear two,” Mira concluded.

“Two, right,” Lena nodded. She had no idea why she felt tears well up while that was good news she just received. “Yours and mine,” Lena whispered, letting her tears flow, figuring she could blame it on her hormones later.

“No,” Mira corrected, “ours and theirs.”

“B-but that’s impossible…,” Lena replied, lifting her finger. “The monitor…”

“One is hidden behind the other,” Mira explained, averting her eyes to Lena’s stomach, “I can see.”

Lena was silent for a while. This outcome wasn’t what she expected. Her children deserved better than a broken family and she couldn’t ensure a good surrogate family. She didn’t plan on aborting not one but two children, though in all fairness Lena never meant to get pregnant.

The air felt as if someone sucked it out of the room, making it hard for Lena to breathe. That tiny peanut on the monitor stared at her, and when she glanced at her stomach, she couldn’t believe two lives were trying to grow inside of her.

Lena was good at ruining things, not creating, despite the praise some people gave her. The thought of passing the Luthor name on to two children, along with the burden, was too much. They would always have a target on their back, and people would hate them without knowing them.

“I’m having the abortion,” Lena voiced, hearing the door open. “Will you wait for me outside?”

“I will be here for you, always and forever,” Mira promised, lifting Lena’s hand to her lips.

Lena wanted to trust in those words, but forever was a long time, and the future was unpredictable. “Promise you won’t hate me because of my decision?”

“I swear it on your life.”

Lena frowned. “Why on my life and not on yours?”

Mira leaned down with a tender smile, kissing both of Lena’s cheeks before replying, “Your life means more to me than my own.”

Lena gave Mira’s hand one last squeeze and she knew that somehow, everything was going to be okay.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's a wrap. :)

**Author's Note:**

> It's possible the Russian parts look way off to those who speak Russian. Just know I used Google translate, so mistakes are definitely possible. I'm a Dutch speaker who started learning English four years ago, so those two languages are all I've got.
> 
> (Also, bleh, James, I know! Ugh, I never thought I'd say this, but Lames is worse than Karamel.) 
> 
> Anyway, I really wanted to write a piece where Lena meets this Russian Kara. Let me know what you think. =)


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